I’m the Mama

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This Mother’s Day was my first baby’s-out-of-my-belly Mother’s Day. I’ve been trying to formulate my thoughts over the past two years from the time I first found out I was pregnant. I can say that motherhood has changed me. I don’t know that I am better or kinder or more patient. My anxieties haven’t seemed to lessen much. I am still the flawed person I was before this remarkable change.

The greatest part of being a mother is my boy. I hold on to that when the fears crowd my mind. I need it when I feel at a loss for the answers just out of reach. I can choose to care for my child using option A over option B and then switch to option B when option A only worked the first time but never after that and I am still his mother.

As my boy enters more and more new phases in his life, I am still his mother. When I feel so inadequate and I make mistake after mistake, I am still his mother. Through the well meaning voices that abound and offer advice and sweet counsel, I decide what will work for me because I am his mother. What a marvel to be this boy’s mother. What a gift.